First and foremost, thank you for reading this post. I know you're probably busy with schoolwork and such, what with your accomplished, well-reputed undergraduate record of completing work at the last minute.
However, I must baldly-on record, request, that attention be paid to this post as its particularly close to the heart for 3 reasons:
1) We now understand the mechanics behind "Thank You" and "I'm sorry". Beyond being "magic words", they serve a purpose! You can actually get you what you need if they're employed in the appropriate ways:
For example, "Please pass me the life jacket" when the ship is sinking or "I'm sorry teacher, my dog ate my homework" when you have nothing to submit.
2) More importantly, the politeness maxims, are universally adhered to. For most, the situation is as such:
If that is so, then politeness must be a learned behaviour. Through series of positive reinforcements (rewards) and negative reinforcements (punishments), we have been conditioned to BEHAVE and BE POLITE.
Consider the first time you said "Uncle! Give me chocolate now!" and got a pinch from Mommy and a "Say please!". Or during festive seasons when your Dad patted you on the shoulder and said "Where are your manners? Say hello to so-and-so".
Or as a little kid you went up to someone and said "Hello uncle, where is your hair?". And got scolded for asking such a matter-of-fact question.
The truth is politeness strategies have been ingrained in us from the start. In fact, the practice of them, would be deemed as civilized conduct.
3) What strikes me is cultural context. The Malay woman at the store who says "Sayang, what do you feel like eating today" is establishing a friendship that would probably serve to her benefit when the customer feels welcome, returns more than once and purchases the food. A positive politeness strategy.
or
A telephone call to the boss could start of with "Sorry to disturb you..."
A negative politeness strategy.
These are characteristic in these settings. My question is, "How would you respond if someone were to FLOUT these face management/ politeness maxims?"
Here's one take on it:
More often than not, we respond by being MORE polite. Strange isin't it?
In conclusion, I'm thoroughly pleased that you've read through to the end of this blogpost and as very SMALL token of my appreciation, and HIGH regard for your esteem, this is for you:
Really, its nothing much.
heys, while reading about your comment on usage of magic words, i realise that usually we are required to use them on someone who is of a higher status. For example, our mum will not say " Can you PLEASE pass me the pepper, thank you" to you, but when you say it to your mum, you have to use magic words:)
ReplyDeleteOn your question on how we respond when the other party flout the face management/politeness maxims,we respond in a more polite manner probably to remind the other person that he has forgotten his manners. It is like the reverse strategy of using politeness as mentioned in class.
ReplyDeleteflorence: Yeah! I agree there's respect in the way we address someone more senior/superior, like our mum. Plus, she's the one who taught us our please and thank yous in the first place.
ReplyDeleteYuka: Tks for your feedback. It is kind of ironic that we repay rudeness with politeness, hoping the person would pick up some manners. Interesting.
hey ryna, yeah i do, thanks :) Although it did seem like a better idea at the start of the semester when there was nothing much to do... but still it gets the juices flowin.. haha.. your post was pretty funny, the video was awesome, on the other extreme where the magic word is "run"; i was reminded of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl4EyAGtvlU
ReplyDeleteCAUTION: Its not a happy video..
If the purpose of flouting the maxim is to be funny,then I would just follow suit: respond to a joke with a joke.
ReplyDelete